Is Pete Doherty getting along with his neighbours in Durley? Positive
stories have flowed from the village near Marlborough, Wiltshire, but
there is the small matter of a headless deer carcass.

“Someone brought in a dead deer while I was out,” the Babyshambles
singer reports in Pete Doherty in 24 Hours, a forthcoming documentary
on MTV One. “Somehow they got in and left the deer in the house. That
was quite terrifying. I’d been in the house for a couple of days and
then I found this rotting, headless carcass of a deer in one of the
far rooms.”

It is unclear whether this was a welcoming gift or a Wiltshire-style
mafia warning. If Doherty knows who the perpetrator was, he is not
letting on. Indeed it seems that he has no-eye deer. (Sorry.)
***
Arrivals at one of the ten balls thrown in honour of Barack Obama’s
inauguration started inauspiciously when Halle Berry was sucked into
an escalator. The Hollywood actress began screaming frantically when
the hem of her dress became trapped, threatening to pull her on to the
floor like Augustus Gloop disappearing into the chocolate extractor
pipe in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Happily, a quick-witted
security guard averted disaster by punching the emergency stop button,
much to the relief of Berry and the building’s cleaning staff.
***
Mel B was in bounteous mood when she received a request from Look
magazine and Jo’s Trust, the cervical cancer charity, to donate a used
garment for a “fashion swap shop” event next week. Shilpa Shetty set
the standard by donating a Versace gown. B’s contribution? A thong.
Arrive early to avoid the rush.
***
Postscript

Tito Jackson, formerly of the Jackson Five, is hopeful Michael will
join him in a reunion of at least half of the family band. “He is keen
to get back into his music and I have spoken to him about helping me
out on my new album,” he said at the opening of Thriller in the West
End. “ Janet is in town, too. We could have a Jackson Three reunion.”
No room for LaToya?

— Cate Blanchett is overjoyed that her portrait is appearing on a
series of stamps to mark Australia Day on January 26: “I’m going to be
licked by millions of Australians and I can’t wait.”

Copyright 2009 "The London Times"

Jaime